Dumping Ground for Random Thoughts

A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan Officer. She says she’s going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.

The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for The loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Mercedes Benz SL 500. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank. She has the Title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car collateral for the loan.

The bank’s president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a $110,000 Benz as collateral against a $5,000 Loan. An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Benz into the bank’s underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the blonde returns. She repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.

The loan officer says, ‘Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multi-millionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?’

The blonde replies, ‘Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?’

Finally, a smart blonde joke!

• Law of Mechanical Repair- After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you’ll have to pee.
• Law of Gravity – Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
• Law of Probability – The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
• Law of Random Numbers – If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
• Law of the Alibi – If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
• Variation Law – If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
• Law of the Bath – When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
• Law of Close Encounters – The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.
• Law of the Result – When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will.
• Law of Bio Mechanics – The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
• Law of the Theater – At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
• The Starbucks Law – As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
• Murphy’s Law of Lockers – If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
• Law of Physical Surfaces – The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly related to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.
• Law of Logical Argument – Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about.
• Brown’s Law of Physical Appearance – If the shoe fits, it’s ugly.
• Oliver’s Law of Public Speaking – A closed mouth gathers no feet.
• Wilson’s Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy – As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
• Doctors’ Law – If you don’t feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you’ll feel better. Don’t make an appointment and you’ll stay sick.
  

1. Hear my voice, O God, in my complaint ; Preserve my life from dread of the enemy.
2. Hide me from the secret counsel of evildoers, From the tumult of those who do iniquity,
3. Who have sharpened their tongue like a sword. They aimed bitter speech as their arrow,
4. To shoot from concealment at the blameless ; Suddenly they shoot at him, and do not fear.
5. They hold fast to themselves an evil purpose ; They talk of laying snares secretly ; They say, “Who can see them?”
6. They devise injustices, saying, “We are ready with a well-conceived plot “; For the inward thought and the heart of a man are deep.
7. But God will shoot at them with an arrow ; Suddenly they will be wounded.
8. So they will make him stumble ; Their own tongue is against them; All who see them will shake the head.
9. Then all men will fear, And they will declare the work of God, And will consider what He has done.
10. The righteous man will be glad in the LORD and will take refuge in Him; And all the upright in heart will glory.